dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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