Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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