So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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