I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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