This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
