never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i out mim tonsoeep
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