That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
