I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
