Too much gin, very little bucket
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
did you just send me my own nude
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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