The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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