she woke up with a sticky ear
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it hurts more in the daytime
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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