i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I am midnight drunk by noon
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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