All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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