Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
