your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
