your room smells of hookers.
And success
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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