One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
