So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
