At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize