Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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