Are we in a gay sports bar?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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