I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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