I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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