We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize