Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
where are my eyebrows?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
