me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
