The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
im holly from the hills drunk
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
