And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize