Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
