Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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