sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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