she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
