I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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