She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
