there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
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So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
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I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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