when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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