I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
