Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
