Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
