but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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