Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
