omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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