You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
