I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
