never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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