his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
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