Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Randomize
