He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize