redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
