My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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