Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Let's get the cat blown out
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
