So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
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Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
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He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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