i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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