hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
