Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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