OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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