The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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