You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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