i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
