I like to think it a success when the cops are called
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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