The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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