i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
